Thursday, April 26, 2012

No Mail For You

Go back to last year, maybe November..I don't really remember and it's not important. I get a work order to take some mail for the election to the post office in the next city for a bulk mailing. Cool, I thought, I'd get to get out of the building for a while...WRONG.

It was raining and gloomy, I do remember that. It should have been a warning sign for what was about to happen. I loaded up about 20 boxes stuffed with envelopes, grabbed the form from the department that was supposed to have filled it out and took off. *I was warned by 3-4 people before leaving that the guy in the post office was a dick, but i can handle that, I ain't scurred.* When I get there, I pulled around the back of the building, backed in (as I was told to do), and walked into the office. I politely told the Christopher Lloyd look-alike behind the desk that I was there to drop off a mass mailing from the Township. Did I mention it was 2:08pm?

The next thing I hear is "We stop taking bulk mailings at 2."


I drove all the way back to work, told the department and heard "That must be a new rule." Which, in their defense, it was. It was probably changed from 5 to 2 while i was on my way to the post office. Who knows. I was told to "try again tomorrow" but not after unloading all the boxes from the truck.

Cut to "tomorrow", it's still cold and rainy. After loading the boxes for a third time, I made it safely to the post office. I once again, pull around back, step into the office and present my form.

After a long "UGHHH" and a ripping of the paper from my hands, all I hear is "No, no, no. All of this is wrong, put the boxes on the cart and bring them around back." Okay, I'm really not one of those "all men should help women with heavy things" type of person AT ALL, I do that crap for myself everyday, but that day it was cold, wet, he knew I had over 9,000 pieces of mail and I was alone. Not to mention I'm pretty sure I saw a tumbleweed roll through the parking lot.

After bringing the mail in (probably 30+ minutes later, thanks for the help) he asks me something like "Do you know how much each piece weighs?"

It took all my self control to not scream "Are you f-in serious?" So instead i just replied "No, I don't, sorry."

Instead of me telling you, just assume this guy sighs in annoyance after every sentence I complete.

I wont bore you with the 15 minute conversation that took place, all you need to know is that everything I had brought him was wrong, each form was wrong, the mail was packed wrong, etc.
I was told to start filling out the forms again. He placed a clean one in front of me, told me to "fill out these 12 boxes" while vaguely pointing at the sheet. He then watched me like a hawk, secretly hoping I'd pick the wrong box.

PS, I'm pretty sure this is the same warehouse that the SAW movies were filmed at.
The second I put my pen down on the wrong box, he rips it out from under me and crumples it up.
"NOPE, start over." I wouldn't be surprised if the guy hooked me up to something that shocked me each time I got it wrong.

By this point I felt like a victim. I was shaking, probably on the verge of tears and just wanted to get the hell out of there. I had to make a call back to the office to have them fix some of the prices and I eventually got it right.

He really was a Mail Nazi. I didn't ask for bread, I swear!

I made sure to tell the ladies that sent me and my boss what happened an although they were "sorry" they weren't surprised at all.

April 25, 2012

I was asked to make another trip to the post office. After suffering a rough flashback, I agreed. Two people offered to go with me but I was determined to do this alone. I whined that I had to go to this certain post office to a co-worker and fax/pants (if you follow me on Twitter, you'll know who I'm talking about) whipped around and said "Oh, that guy at the _____ post office? Yeah he's a dick." It's almost like an urban legend around here.

I loaded up 14 boxes, drove to the post office, backed in the spot, loaded up the cart, walked into the office with confidence...only to find that a different Nazi was working the counter today. I was slightly disappointed but also relieved. This man was definitely nicer than the previous. He said "OK, looks good, just a few things...sign here, here, date this, print your name and we'll be good to go." DREAM.

I loaded all the boxes onto a cart, brought them through those double doors practically skipping with glee only to be stopped with a "You don't have enough money in the account." I thought, okay, minor hiccup, I'll call work, surely they can fix this.

I call and the only answer I get is "That's wrong."

..............................ohhhhkkkk, I just need something here. Give me something. I can't really argue with this guy. "Can you pay with credit card?" "NO, DEBIT OR CHECK ONLY." (He's starting to get mad.)
"And by the way, this line is wrong, the number here is wrong, they're missing the back page of the form, none of this is right."

What?? Somebody flipped the switch on this guy. I gave up all hope right then and there. I soon heard the words over the phone "Just bring it all back."

Again I was told to "try again tomorrow." I love how everyone tells me to "try" as if they're saying "it probably won't work out but go ahead and give it your all, Liz!"

Silently (and without crying, I want credit for that) I loaded all my boxes back into the truck. (At least the new(er) guy helped me with that part) and started my journey back to work.

I couldn't help but laugh. It was almost unbelievable. Is this real? Am I on Candid Camera? And why do I have to ask myself the very same questions in so many situations in my life?

I had to call my co-worker/friend to tell him what happened. After that, I called my mom because you really just need to talk to someone that personally knows the people involved.

After sitting in the work truck for more than twenty minutes, I decided to go ahead and start unloading the boxes FOR THE FOURTH TIME THAT DAY. No wonder the post office isn't doing so well...

Even though the whole situation was a pain in the ass, and I will probably have to start the whole process over tomorrow, I'm sort of glad it happened to me and not for any deep or meaningful reason other than it gave me inspiration for story telling and blog writing. :)

Stay tuned because I know you're on the edge of your seat...


I "tried again" today at the Post Office and found myself in some kind of alternate universe where the staff was polite and helpful. I am unsure what to make of this occurance but I did practically run out the door so that they didn't change their minds. :)

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Another Reason I Hate Community College

I guess I should start with my drive to class. It’s all of 6 minutes, but believe me, it’s enough time to become annoyed. Not so much with the drive itself, (although, there is an obnoxious left turn to make) but the steps it takes to actually get into the classroom.

First there’s McDonald’s. I know I shouldn’t but it’s RIGHT THERE. It’s practically in my school. I only go for a sweet (actually ¾ sweet, ¼unsweetened) tea but youd think I was asking the employee for an organ.

“For here or to go?” Ok, first of all, does it matter? Are you really going to give me a tray for one cup if I say it’s “for here.”? Also, I know you recently got wi-fi and all but you’re not a Starbucks, I’m not planning on chilling in a booth with a sweet tea for the afternoon. I somehow feel like they should know I’m on my way to class, like 90% of their customers usually are.

On this particular day, I walked over to the tea carafe (because it’s just too much for them to fill it up behind the counter) and notice two girls, a man, and a baby. The man is eating chicken nuggets ON the tray/drain that catches the pop. ON IT. The girl has about six bags of I don’t even know what sitting all over the counter, other girl is by the ketchup and the baby is running round, but I assume it’s one of theirs.

I very much dislike confrontation and I don’t even like to say “excuse me” if someone’s in my way. I normally squeeze through or go around. There was no way around them. I politely said “excuse me, can I get to the tea?” “UGHHHHHHH” was what I heard, followed by an eye roll. But I deserved it. How dare I ask them to pick up their impromptu picnic and move it to, I don’t know, maybe a table?! I am so rude.

As they were packing up all of their items I heard one of the girls say “Yeah, no, we’re not together like that. He’s her dad and all but I don’t think we’re gonna be together. But he is practicing to become a rapper!”

WHAT. Get me the hell out of here.

Turns out they met up at Mickey D’s with a bunch of other guys that were smoking something by the back wall. Even though I had chosen to avoid said guys by parking on the other side of the restaurant, they were all (including baby and nugget eater) sitting next to my car when I got out. I can handle dirty looks just fine, in case you’re wondering.

Then there’s school. There’s, of course, two full rows of “staff only” parking spaces that I’ve never seen more than 20% full, and NO WHERE ELSE TO PARK. If you don’t get there before 5:45, you might as well just walk from home.

Once I walk through the clouds of smoke from the people that hover by the door to the building, I mentally prepare myself for the freak show that is about to take place. Now, it’s hard to say whether or not Monday’s class is freakier than Tuesday’s. I think it’s more of a “type” or “classification” of freaks. They’re all weird, just in different ways.

In Monday’s class, you’ve got the girl with the scrunchie AND banana clip hairdo, the one with hot pink and rhinestone claws for nails, the one that doesn’t understand ANYTHING, the guy who loves his own voice, the “mean girls” in the back row, the one who loves to talk about her bunion removal…the list goes on and on. I’ll highlight a few for you.

The Guy who Loves to Hear Himself

He has a very high pitched, very whiny voice. I don’t know why exactly he thinks we all need to hear it every 5 minutes, but he does. While he does like to talk about his ballet recital (not kidding) it’s mainly school related. He’ll ask the teacher a question: “Now for numberaah twenty oneaaah I didn’t get the same answer as youaah.” Then proceeds to explain exactly HOW he got the wrong answer. As if he thinks “This will be the time that I’M right and the rest of you are all WRONG (including teacher who does this for an actual job.)” No, honey, just listen and learn and stop speaking, I beg of you.

The Little Lady that Doesn’t Understand

Lord help her, she’s adorable. She just can’t get it. Any time my teacher explains something (and always in great or too much detail) she’ll ask if we have questions. Everyone says “NO.” because, come on, it’s not rocket science. If you can look up a business in a phone book, you can do this. Never fails though, every time she asks that question, that tiny little arm comes flying up. “So, I’m sorry, I just don’t get it.” “Which part?” “The whole thing.”

It takes all my strength to not pull her mini ponytail and ask her “WHY??? WHY DON’T YOU GET IT?!” There’s no reason not to. Good luck to her.

Exhausted Lady in the Front Row

She missed the very first class. I’m no genius, but I think it’s pretty safe to say that’s like the most important class to attend besides the final. She “thought it started the following week” so of course the next week came and she had no books, no syllabus, no homework… and why is she SO tired each time? It looks like she ran 4 miles to get to class…and she’s definitely not the skinniest lady I’ve ever seen. I don’t think the 24oz Pepsi she brings with her is helping her fitness either. She comes in very late, huffing and puffing, throws all her stuff down, breathing extremely heavy, interrupts the class to tell the teacher she has “no books today, can you look for some for me?” are you serious? On the 13th week of a 15 week class? Is this kindergarten? Share with the girl next to you and SHUT THE HELL UP. P.S., that watch you wear is adjustable, it shouldn’t look like your hand is about to fall off.

On to Tuesday night’s class. Like I said different night, different freaks. We have the very abrasive lady, the one who I’m sure is milking a workman’s comp deal, the one I can’t hear no matter what, the chomper…

Again, just to highlight a few, let’s start with...

The Chomper

Now, this didn’t start annoying me until lately. She’s always eating. The whole class, she’s never not eating. I mean, I can kind of understand, it’s a 6pm class, she looks like she just came from work, it’s dinner. But for three hours straight? Isn’t she bored of eating? Last week we went to the lab to work on billing insurance. She had Cheetos. Oh em gee. I couldn’t even concentrate. It honestly sounded like she was chewing on rocks. It was one of the loudest noises I’ve ever heard. I look around in disbelief…does no one else hear that? Oh, they do. They’re just trying to be polite. Luckily when she started up again in last night’s class (almonds), a guy that barely speaks English said to her “Oh, you’re eating again?” Thank you Hakeem! Everything she eats is ear drum-shattering loud. I don’t know why. Even yogurt.

The abrasive lady

I don’t’ believe a word that comes out of her mouth. First she says she’s a FEDEX driver that makes 8 bucks an hour. Then she’s a pharmacy technician who only makes $7. What? She has a very weathered face, only a few teeth left, yet dies her hair raven black. It’s so harsh, just like her personality. She has an opinion (that’s usually wrong) about every body and every thing. To a guest speaker in our class: “Now, I gotta be honest, I ain’t one of those people who does whatcha say just cuz urma boss. Wud ya still hire me?”

Is this a joke? Am I on Candid Camera?

I honestly feel like I am the only “normal” person in the room. Like someone threw me into a circus without warning. I often catch myself with a disgusted look on my face that I have to hurry and adjust before one of them notices, as if it would matter. The lady that sits next to me in Tuesday’s class is actually my friend, she was in my class last semester (which had some of the very same freaks!) and she’s the only one I talk to. I’ve tried to branch out but it’s hard to make a friend when your mouth hangs open in shock when you look at them.

I guess that’s all for now, there’s about (no joke) 12 or 13 other weirdos I could tell you about but I won’t bore you. Only two more weeks of class, thank goodness.


Sunday, April 15, 2012

19 Random Facts

Here we go, 19 random facts about yours truly. Hopefully it isn't too boring.

1. I've done a Polar Bear Dip up north. I can't quite remember but it was the end of January so it was in the 30's with tons of snow on the ground. Who knows how cold the water was. Even though it was painful, the whole experience was so much fun. Unsure if I'd do it again.

2. I'd do just about anything for a T-shirt. See above.

3. Until I was 19 years old I refused to carry a purse and had a bi-fold man's wallet. I've clearly changed, a lot.

4. I've had the same best friend for over 20 years :)

5. I cannot stand  when t-shirts have a baggy neck. It gives me anxiety.

6. I memorized Wizard of Oz by the time I was 3 years old.

7. I can match any smell to any situation.

8. One of the most disgusting things in the world to me is when someone takes off a sock and puts it BACK ON. Gross.

9. I despise seafood and mushrooms.

10. I love Christmas so much, I could watch Christmas movies every day. And I practically do.

11. I fall. A lot.

12. I've had an obsession with John Deere since I worked in Parks.

13. I love torturing myself by watching scary movies/tv shows alone.

14. I want to move to Tennessee so bad it hurts.

15. I love Tim Tebow. Actually, it's not love, it's something deeper. We were meant to be, he just doesn't know it yet.

16. I never thought I'd have a pet, let alone understand those crazy pet loving people...yet here we are.  

17. I once peed my pants at a carnival and had to drive people home after with a blanket wrapped around my legs.

18. I love cooking and baking. I bake a lot, even though I don't like cake, cupcakes or frosting. More for the guys at work!

19. I never have, and never will, be able to take naps. Do not want.

This isn't one of the facts...but I am LOVING the new Blogger layout. So much easier.

So there you have it, 19 random facts you didn't know/didn't care to know about me!


Sunday, April 8, 2012

Ins and Outs

Now, normally I'd call these my "Aces vs Disgraces" but I'm just not feeling that title let's put that in the "Out" category tonight.


Using Products Up- I've been really trying to use the products I have before starting new ones. I've used a bunch of my shampoos and conditioners from underneath my sink (I have a bad habit of using half a bottle and buying a new one to try) and concentrating on certain beauty products I want to finish. Currently, I'm working on my eye cream, a few concealers and powders. I love the feeling of being done with something. But then again, if I love it enough to use it completely, I'll be kind of sad when it's gone.

Spring Cleaning- A good part of my four day weekend was spent cleaning and I'm not even sad about it. I actually like cleaning and I've been deep cleaning some rooms that have been neglected.
My bedroom- It's very hard to clean this room because Josh and I are rarely home at the same time and it's impossible to clean anything with a puppy running around. Every towel/sock/shirt I pick up, Duke grabs out of my hand because he thinks it's a game. So when we both were home all day Saturday, I took advantage and really cleaned our room. It just feels so nice to go to bed when there's no piles of clothes on the floor. And our room looks a lot bigger, too.
Bathroom- You know when you "clean" the bathroom but you don't really clean it? I finally got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed each corner. Feels so nice to relax in a bubble bath in a sparkling clean bathroom.
More rooms to come.

Sweet Tea- I gave up sweet tea...not for lent but when I was hearing about everything other people were giving up, I decided to give it a try as well. So from Ash Wednesday til today I haven't had a drop. And I LOVE sweet tea. I am totally getting one on the way to class tomorrow...which leads me into my Outs.


School- I know I'm almost done. 4 more times per class, to be exact, but I just want to be done. With my Monday night class, it's one of those that just feels so simple and easy to me that it's actually painful to sit there and go over each thing twenty times for the one person who doesn't get it. I rarely learn anything new anymore and I'm just ready to be done. Especially since I work all day, then have class 6-9pm when it's still light out and other people are having fun. Boo. My Tuesday class is a little more challenging but I still can't wait to be done.

Job Searching- Believe me, if I could find a decent job right now, no matter where it is, I'd take it. I've sent out 20+ resumes every weekend and haven't heard a thing. It's so hard to get a job these days, I feel defeated. I thought for sure being in the health care field would help but so far, nothing. I know I just have to keep pushing, I just wish someone would throw me a bone.

Holidays that feel more like work- Every holiday, be it Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter or any of the hundreds of birthdays in our families, become so stressful. For four years now, we've been splitting time up between our families. It's definitely gotten better, the first year, our families scheduled dinner at the exact same minute and we'd get yelled at for staying at one house and not the other constantly, but it's still a challenge. I don't know how people with kid's do it. Josh actually dreads the holidays now, which makes him in a bad mood and then me in a bad mood and we're rushing and making sure Duke is taken care of and rushing some more to make sure we see each set of parents (there's three) and it's exhausting!
It really hit us hard this year when both our families told us they didn't plan anything for Easter and that they were just going to stay home and not have people over...and then both decided to have Easter dinner an hour apart. Isn't that the worst, when you think you get to relax but then you actually have to go to two houses!? It was fun, and it always is, the process is just stressful. I guess that's what wine is for.

Okay, so that's my Ins and Outs as of April 9, 2012. Hope you enjoyed my rants. I think I'll do an updated 40 Beauty Questions Tag next. :)

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

I don't know what to here you go.

Alright, I really am in the mood to write tonight...and wouldn't you know, I have a blog to do so! One problem, I have no topic. I could bore you with the same old "school's going well..." or random tidbits like how unbelievable it is that at my age, i still manage to get soap in my eyes nearly every time i shower...

But i decided to do a question tag instead. I googled "questions tag" and hit "blogs" and the only one that came up (39743987898 times) was an 11 Question Tag that looked far too involved for me. So I found an older one floating around that I'm sure I've completed at some point or another but here's an updated version for you. (Lucky you.)

1.Where were you 3 hours ago? In the family room, watching the behind the scenes of the last One Tree Hill episode, even though I haven't watched that show in probably 4 years.

2.Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? My bed sheet is a fuchsia color, does that count?

3.What are you wearing right now? Good ol' John Deere sweats and a Stanley Cup shirt...GO WINGS!

4.What are the colours of your bedroom walls? They're still unfinished. I have the two short (accent) walls a pewter/gunmetal grey color but the longer walls are still builder's beige. I'll finish them one day, maybe.

5.Who is the last person you sent a message or comment /BBM? It's funny you should mention BBM. I never understood the point of it...but my sister PING!!!s me all the time, so

6.What does your last text message say? "I will." (She hasn't.)

7.Can You Taste The Difference Between Pepsi And Coke? Oh hell yes. Always. Pepsi is too syrupy...Coke is much better and more classic :)

8.Is your hair curly or straight? Somewhere in between. I wish it would pick a side.

9.Which is the hardest thing you ever had to do? This is a tough one. Maybe give up on someone.

10.Favorite 2 color combination? I really love grey and yellow. Or grey and neon pink. Anything with grey, really.

11.What is your favorite accessory? Probably my watches.

12.Which current celebrity's style do you admire most? I really love Sarah Jessica Parker's hair because it's always changing and I love Jennifer Aniston's medium bob. I think that's the haircut I'll get next.

13.What is your favorite fashion store/shop? I think Old Navy because it's trendy, cheap and around the corner from my work.

14.When was the last time you drove out of town? I guess in October when I went to my best friend's baby shower up north.

15.With the exception of the computer, what can you hear? Discovery ID something about the Miami police. They say the first step is admitting...I'm an #idaddict.

16.What was the last thing you bought? Jimmy Johns...Turkey Tom what what.

17.What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? I don't think...I pick up my phone and get rid of the email icon on the top. All the emails that come at 2 am are newsletters and spam.

18.Favorite Food? Mexican!

19.Biggest turn off? People who take themselves too seriously.

20.What do you always have on you/wear? My industrial bar, bobby pins and lip balm.

21.What does your screen name mean/ how did you come up with it? Well, I have always worked with all guys. I love it, I really don't know if I'd survive being cooped up with catty women all day. Guys are usually anti drama but they love to gossip more than girls. Best of both worlds. (You gotta watch out for bad moods though, as the guys at work tell me "Men have periods, too." Yikes.)

22.Favorite style of top/blouse? What a random question. I like V neck tshirts that are long. I hate a shirt that is too short in length. I also despise cap sleeves.

23.Favourite TV show It has always been Forensic Files and King of Queens...but there's many more I enjoy now. Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Snapped, E! Investigates, Who the Bleep Did I Marry, 20/20 on ID & A&E, Walking Dead and my current favorite, GCB. I'm probably forgetting about 23 more shows.

24.What is a favorite TV show from your childhood? I loved Under the Umbrella Tree and shoes like Where in the World is Carmen San Diego and Ghostwriter...Even Stevens, Ren & Stimpy...the list could go on forever.

25.What does your dream bedroom look like? we go...lots of crisp white elements with rustic touches, a big fluffy down comforter, tons of white pillows, pale blue-grey walls, pine rafters, a fireplace, lots of natural light, wispy curtains, tons of fresh cut hydrangeas, giant closet and bathroom with marble counter tops...not that I've thought about it or anything.

I tag anyone and everyone to do this, it's kind of fun :)