Thursday, April 26, 2012

No Mail For You

Go back to last year, maybe November..I don't really remember and it's not important. I get a work order to take some mail for the election to the post office in the next city for a bulk mailing. Cool, I thought, I'd get to get out of the building for a while...WRONG.

It was raining and gloomy, I do remember that. It should have been a warning sign for what was about to happen. I loaded up about 20 boxes stuffed with envelopes, grabbed the form from the department that was supposed to have filled it out and took off. *I was warned by 3-4 people before leaving that the guy in the post office was a dick, but i can handle that, I ain't scurred.* When I get there, I pulled around the back of the building, backed in (as I was told to do), and walked into the office. I politely told the Christopher Lloyd look-alike behind the desk that I was there to drop off a mass mailing from the Township. Did I mention it was 2:08pm?

The next thing I hear is "We stop taking bulk mailings at 2."


I drove all the way back to work, told the department and heard "That must be a new rule." Which, in their defense, it was. It was probably changed from 5 to 2 while i was on my way to the post office. Who knows. I was told to "try again tomorrow" but not after unloading all the boxes from the truck.

Cut to "tomorrow", it's still cold and rainy. After loading the boxes for a third time, I made it safely to the post office. I once again, pull around back, step into the office and present my form.

After a long "UGHHH" and a ripping of the paper from my hands, all I hear is "No, no, no. All of this is wrong, put the boxes on the cart and bring them around back." Okay, I'm really not one of those "all men should help women with heavy things" type of person AT ALL, I do that crap for myself everyday, but that day it was cold, wet, he knew I had over 9,000 pieces of mail and I was alone. Not to mention I'm pretty sure I saw a tumbleweed roll through the parking lot.

After bringing the mail in (probably 30+ minutes later, thanks for the help) he asks me something like "Do you know how much each piece weighs?"

It took all my self control to not scream "Are you f-in serious?" So instead i just replied "No, I don't, sorry."

Instead of me telling you, just assume this guy sighs in annoyance after every sentence I complete.

I wont bore you with the 15 minute conversation that took place, all you need to know is that everything I had brought him was wrong, each form was wrong, the mail was packed wrong, etc.
I was told to start filling out the forms again. He placed a clean one in front of me, told me to "fill out these 12 boxes" while vaguely pointing at the sheet. He then watched me like a hawk, secretly hoping I'd pick the wrong box.

PS, I'm pretty sure this is the same warehouse that the SAW movies were filmed at.
The second I put my pen down on the wrong box, he rips it out from under me and crumples it up.
"NOPE, start over." I wouldn't be surprised if the guy hooked me up to something that shocked me each time I got it wrong.

By this point I felt like a victim. I was shaking, probably on the verge of tears and just wanted to get the hell out of there. I had to make a call back to the office to have them fix some of the prices and I eventually got it right.

He really was a Mail Nazi. I didn't ask for bread, I swear!

I made sure to tell the ladies that sent me and my boss what happened an although they were "sorry" they weren't surprised at all.

April 25, 2012

I was asked to make another trip to the post office. After suffering a rough flashback, I agreed. Two people offered to go with me but I was determined to do this alone. I whined that I had to go to this certain post office to a co-worker and fax/pants (if you follow me on Twitter, you'll know who I'm talking about) whipped around and said "Oh, that guy at the _____ post office? Yeah he's a dick." It's almost like an urban legend around here.

I loaded up 14 boxes, drove to the post office, backed in the spot, loaded up the cart, walked into the office with confidence...only to find that a different Nazi was working the counter today. I was slightly disappointed but also relieved. This man was definitely nicer than the previous. He said "OK, looks good, just a few things...sign here, here, date this, print your name and we'll be good to go." DREAM.

I loaded all the boxes onto a cart, brought them through those double doors practically skipping with glee only to be stopped with a "You don't have enough money in the account." I thought, okay, minor hiccup, I'll call work, surely they can fix this.

I call and the only answer I get is "That's wrong."

..............................ohhhhkkkk, I just need something here. Give me something. I can't really argue with this guy. "Can you pay with credit card?" "NO, DEBIT OR CHECK ONLY." (He's starting to get mad.)
"And by the way, this line is wrong, the number here is wrong, they're missing the back page of the form, none of this is right."

What?? Somebody flipped the switch on this guy. I gave up all hope right then and there. I soon heard the words over the phone "Just bring it all back."

Again I was told to "try again tomorrow." I love how everyone tells me to "try" as if they're saying "it probably won't work out but go ahead and give it your all, Liz!"

Silently (and without crying, I want credit for that) I loaded all my boxes back into the truck. (At least the new(er) guy helped me with that part) and started my journey back to work.

I couldn't help but laugh. It was almost unbelievable. Is this real? Am I on Candid Camera? And why do I have to ask myself the very same questions in so many situations in my life?

I had to call my co-worker/friend to tell him what happened. After that, I called my mom because you really just need to talk to someone that personally knows the people involved.

After sitting in the work truck for more than twenty minutes, I decided to go ahead and start unloading the boxes FOR THE FOURTH TIME THAT DAY. No wonder the post office isn't doing so well...

Even though the whole situation was a pain in the ass, and I will probably have to start the whole process over tomorrow, I'm sort of glad it happened to me and not for any deep or meaningful reason other than it gave me inspiration for story telling and blog writing. :)

Stay tuned because I know you're on the edge of your seat...


I "tried again" today at the Post Office and found myself in some kind of alternate universe where the staff was polite and helpful. I am unsure what to make of this occurance but I did practically run out the door so that they didn't change their minds. :)

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